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Bedwetters Journal

Background History


My history begins like many individuals in that at age 6 I was still wetting my bed more nights than not. My parents took me to see the doctor due to the bedwetting, who said that I would probably outgrow it, saying that I had a small bladder. As a result of almost constant bedwetting, my parents used a variety of methods to attempt to get me to stop wetting. After dinner usually I wasn't allowed fluids and was constantly reminded to use the bathroom before bedtime. Things began to change when my brother was born.

At the age of 8 my brother was born. Shortly before his birth, my parents decided to try a bedwetting alarm to help me to stay dry at night. I really hated this since if I had a accident the alarm woke up my parents instantly announcing that I had once again wet the bed. The alarm stayed in use for about 3 months without much result. I guess my baby brother gave them the idea of what to try next.

One night after the alarm went off again announcing that I had wet the bed, mom came into my room as usual. Like a thousand times before, she began changing the sheets on the bed and made me use the bathroom and take off my wet pajamas. Unlike other times, mom told me not to take dry clothes to change into and once I was done in the bathroom to come back to my room. Dad at this time was in my baby brothers room trying to quiet him down and get him to go back to sleep since the alarm had woken him as well. I was more than a little embarrassed walking around the house naked, but quickly went to the bathroom and returned to my bedroom.

When I returned to my bedroom, my mom told me that since my bedwetting was causing a lot of problems for everyone in the family, she was going to have to do something to make sure I stopped. When I asked her what she said as soon as she was done changing the bed, she would show me. When she had finished with my bed, she left my room saying she would be right back. I was feeling more than a little cold sitting on my floor naked and decided to put some underpants back on at least while mom was gone. When she returned, I had just finished pulling up a dry pair of underpants.

When mom returned her arms were full, but I paid little attention to her as I was busy getting a dry pair of pajamas out of my dresser. Once she had put things down on the bed, she told me that I didn't need to get dressed as I should take the underpants I had put on off. When I asked her why, she stated that my constant bedwetting was causing her a lot of work with washing the sheets and was waking the baby up every night. She said that until I could stay dry, she was going to put me back into diapers like my baby brother so that everyone could sleep through the night. As I looked at what now lay on my bed, I noticed that she had gotten some diapers and things from my brothers room and had them all laid out. As she talked I began crying, saying that I didn't mean to wet and didn't want to wear diapers like my baby brother.

Dad came into the room apparently after getting my brother back to sleep. When he saw what was occurring he told me that mom and him had talked and that until I could stay dry, I was going to spend nights in diapers and rubber pants (which mom had bought for me that day knowing I would wet again). I was really crying hard as mom had me lay down on my bed and pulled my underpants off of me. She then lifted my legs like I had seen her do to my brother and slid some diapers underneath me. She kept telling me how much nicer it will be wearing diapers and waking up in a dry bed. After putting powder on me, the diapers were pinned on.

All this time dad stood in the doorway to my room watching mom diaper me. At this point dad walked over to my bed picking up a small box and opening it. As I lay there crying I observed him pull a pair of white rubber pants from the box and shake them out. He then lifted my legs again and put my feet in the leg holes of the rubber pants. I felt like dying as he pulled them up my legs and over the diapers I was now wearing. Once he was done, I was told to get into bed and go back to sleep. Through my tears I asked about putting my pajamas back on and was told that I didn't need to wet any other clothes.

The next morning dad woke me up as he was getting ready for work and asked me if I had wet my diapers. I started crying again, as he lifted up my covers and felt a very wet diaper underneath my rubber pants. He told me that mom would be in shortly to remove my diapers so that I could get dressed for school. Sure enough in a few minutes mom came into my room and took the awful diapers off of me and told me to get ready for school.

After this incident, I was kept in diapers every night to deal with the bedwetting. It didn't take too long to grow accustomed to them and enjoyed the fact that I no longer woke up in a wet bed. I was very embarrassed about the fact that I had to wear diapers though and would get real concerned when we visited relatives especially if we were to stay overnight. Like most kids occasionally, I would still wet my pants during the day but that was another issue. The Incident

Every year during the summer, our entire family would get together for a large family reunion. This was a great time for us kids, as we got to visit with cousins and other relatives usually at my uncles farm. The farm was a really cool place as a kid to visit as there was a lot of things to get into along with my cousins. The summer that I turned 13 we went to my uncles as usual for the reunion. I still wet the bed at night, so my night diapers were taken along to be put on me discretely at bedtime so that no one else would know. My brother had now long been out of diapers even though I still had to wear them.

The first night that we were there, at bedtime my mom came up and gave me a bag containing the nighttime diapers that I now put on myself. Once I was diapered in the bathroom, I put my pajamas on over them along with a robe so that none of my cousins would know I was diapered like my baby cousin. Even though I now only wet the bed 3-4 times a week, I was still required to wear diapers every night to prevent the problems associated with nighttime accidents. In the morning, I awoke with soaking wet diapers which had leaked and wet my cousins bed waking him up as well.

I was so embarrassed as my cousin who was my age now knew that I had wet the bed and him. He was cussing up a storm and calling me all kinds of names because I had gotten him wet as well. When my aunt came into the room to find out what the commotion was all about she immediately observed the wet bed and wet pajamas we both were wearing.

After she checked the bed my aunt came over to me and pulled my pajamas down exposing my diapers and rubber pants to my cousin. She said that she wanted to she how many diapers I was wearing since I had leaked so much on the bed. I felt like crawling into a hole and dying since I didn't know that my aunt even knew I wore diapers and now my cousin did as well. She just said for us to change and get dressed since breakfast was almost ready and she would deal with the bed.

Once my aunt left the room, my cousin really began taunting me about being such a big baby and having to wear diapers and rubber pants. As I took off my diapers he kept telling me that I should be punished and made to wear diapers all day since I had gotten him all wet. He also told me that maybe I should be sleeping in the crib with his baby brother rather than sharing his bed. All of this made me want to barter anything that I could with him not to tell the others. Nothing I could offer even provided a small possibility that he wouldn't tell all the other kids that their cousin (the oldest boy there) wore diapers and still wet the bed.

He was dressed long before me and went down stairs to breakfast telling everyone what had happened. By the time I got there, my wearing diapers was no longer a secret as my brother even told everyone that I always wore them at home to bed and never woke up dry. This only brought more teasing as we ate in the kitchen which was only quieted by the grownups yelling from the dining room where they were eating for us to quiet down. After breakfast, my mom came and talked to me about what had happened and said that her and my aunt would take care of the bed, but that I would have to deal with the taunts.

All day long, even the little kids were teasing me about being such a baby and did I need my diapers changed. I really wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. Late in the afternoon, a bunch of us were playing in the barn when I realized that with all the teasing I had wet my pants. No one had noticed yet, and I was terrified that they would as soon as I was found since we were playing "it." Sure enough my cousin Billy (the one closest in age to me) came around from the other side of the stack of hay to tag me. He began laughing so hard when he noticed my wet pants telling all the other kids what I had done. It didn't take long before most of them were crowded around me laughing and teasing me when I really soaked my pants in front of everyone. This only brought more teasing and laughter from everyone seeing a 13 year old wearing soaking wet pants.

I crawled down out of the hayloft and almost ran to the house to get away from them and get a change of clothes. My dad and uncle saw me on the way to the house and really began to torment me. Dad said that he guessed he had an infant rather than a teenager after my uncle had taunted me some. Dad was really ticked about this as he felt that I had embarrassed him in front of everyone acting so childish. He accompanied me into the house where mom was with my aunt saying that something needed to be done.

When we reached the kitchen where my mom was with my aunt, I was in tears as dad was dragging me along. He asked my mom if she had some more dry clothes for an infant as I needed to be changed. All this time I thought that dad was razzing me for wetting by calling me an infant but what was said to mom next really floored me. Dad decided that enough was enough and that since I had started wetting my pants like a baby that I would now be treated as a baby till the nighttime and daytime accidents had stopped.

Dad stated that when I had gone a whole week without either a daytime or nighttime accident, I would again be treated my age but until then I would spend the rest of the summer being treated like my baby cousin would wet all the time since he was only 2 and still in diapers. As I stood there with my mouth open I could hardly believe my dad was serious. Mom told him that I didn't have any more dry clothes with us to wear and that maybe we should borrow some from my cousin.

It was then that dad explained that I would not need anything other than my diapers as I was now a baby and that it wasn't necessary for me to wet more clothes. He told mom to get my rubber pants and borrow some diapers from my aunt to get me changed into. All this time I kept telling my dad that he couldn't be serious, that I was 13 and not a baby. His only response was the teenagers don't wet their pants and bed all the time, only babies do. As he talked I was walked without really realizing it into my little cousins nursery with my aunt and mom following us.

When I realized where they had lead me I really got upset, and began cursing until my dad gave me a hit on my rear that I still haven't forgotten. He told me that as long as I lived at home with my parents I needed to obey their rules and not be cussing like a sailor. I kept begging him to reconsider as he laid me down on the floor taking my jeans and underwear off. I didn't want to get hit again, so I allowed him to remove my clothes but continued to beg and try to barter my way out of this.

Once I lay on the floor naked from the waist down, my dad asked my aunt for some diapers for "his baby boy". This really caused me to cry harder and begin begging for a reprieve. In no time at all dad had me diapered and was putting my rubber pants on over my little cousins diapers which I was now wearing. He then told me to stand up and put my shoes back on. I slowly got up and asked him for my pants. He calmly told me that my baby cousin was only wearing diapers and that my pants were soaking wet, so I would spend the rest of our time there in just diapers.

As I tied my shoes, I said that I would just stay in the nursery then until we were ready to leave since I had no dry clothes to put on. Dad said that since I had wet my pants it wasn't going to take long for everyone to find out what had happened to me. He pulled me along until we were outside and asked my aunt to lock the doors while the men were cooking dinner on the grill so I would be stuck outside. All my cousins must have been watching the house as they were out of the barn in minutes surrounding me and teasing me about really being a baby now. With all the teasing, I decided to lay down in the grass and just try to avoid everyone and go to sleep. This sort of worked as in a short time everyone went back to playing and only came by periodically to torment me.

When dinner was ready, everyone was called to get at the picnic tables which were set up near where I was laying which was also near the grills. In no time my cousins and brother were all teasing me again about being such a baby. As everyone was fixing their plates, mom said I could just sit where I was as she was going to fix one for me. Since I was glad to sort of get to hide sitting at the table I was glad for what I thought was a small reprieve. She returned and sat next to me saying that since I was now her baby again, she would feed me. This brought a chorus of catcalls from the kids and she put fork after fork full in my mouth like my aunt was doing with my little cousin. The exception was that he was allowed to use the fork himself some.

All through dinner I kept telling mom that I was thirsty, but she said I would get something once I had finished my plate. After eating all the I could with all the teasing that was occurring, I said I was done and that I needed something to drink now. I wanted to die when mom asked my aunt to get her a bottle for her little boy. I told her that it was bad enough that I needed to wear diapers, but that I sure didn't need a baby bottle. In no time at all I was still sitting at the table with mom holding a baby bottle in my mouth telling me to drink it all like a good baby. I doubt that my cousins or brother will ever forget that.

Shortly after dinner we left to return home after having spent most of the weekend there. Once at home, mom took all my underwear and put them away saying I wouldn't need them again till I was dry. At bedtime, mom said she would now be changing me and that once I was put into a diaper, under no circumstances was I to remove it myself. Dad added that if I did, he would blister my behind so that I couldn't sit for a week. Back Home

That Monday after getting back mom took me shopping for the things I was going to now need. When we got ready to go out, I asked mom where my pants were since all I was wearing were the diapers, rubber pants and T-shirt. She told me that there was no need for me to wear other pants since I had been wetting them anyway and that I might as well look like the baby I was acting. This was horrible since none of my friends in our neighborhood knew that I had to wear diapers and here was mom taking me outside wearing only them. It only took a reminder of my dads blistering to get me to run out to the car and climb in hoping that no one had seen me.

When mom came out to the car, I asked how come I had to go and couldn't I please stay at home while she shopped. She told me that she had to obtain the things that she needed now for her little baby and that a baby couldn't be left alone. I was really upset that even mom was now calling me baby and beginning to consider me one. When I asked what she meant, she said that I would find out soon enough.

The first store that we arrived at was the local AMES which is a discount store that has lots of stuff. I told mom as she pulled into a parking space, that I would sit in the car behaving myself as an angel. Mom said that since she was buying things for me that she wanted me with her to make sure they would fit. Wearing diapers at home or in front of family was one thing, but now I was being told that I was going to have to walk around this store dressed as an infant. Although I am still not really big, I sure looked too old to be wearing only diapers and rubber pants.

After mom got out of her door, I was crying too hard saying that she couldn't do this to me to even consider getting out of the car. She came to my side and opened the door, saying that I was doing this to myself, since I was the one still wetting my pants and bed. She pulled me from the seat locking and closing the door as she did. I felt as if I was now on stage in front of everyone at the mall, as it felt like everyone was starring at me. (Actually my mom later told me that hardly anyone seemed to notice or care.)

As we walked into the store, the security guard made a comment saying wasn't I too old to be wearing only diapers. This made me start crying even more. Mom told him that I had a wetting problem and needed to get some things in order to take care of me properly. She went on to explain that I continued to wet my pants, she saw no point in making more work for herself by having me wear pants over the diapers. The guard said that he guessed she was right and let it go.

Once inside, we immediately walked toward the infant department which I now especially despised. Then remembering that she needed a cart, we walked back to the front of the store, to get one. Even though I was 13, mom told me to climb into the basket of the cart and behave myself. I did as I was told and was glad at least for the plastic mesh to hide the diapers and rubber pants that I was wearing.

The first stop was to obtain more diapers. Throughout this shopping trip mom started when seemed like a running commentary about what she was buying and why she needed it. Although I had diapers at home, mom said that since I was only wearing diapers now, she would need a lot more of the. Mom had previously tried disposable diapers on me when my brother still wore them at night, finding that even the toddler size, was just a little small for me, so the purchase was for cloth diapers.

The next stop in the store was for rubber pants. At home I had maybe 4 pairs of plastic pants (mom and dad called them rubber pants so I do also), which I wore over the night diapers. Now mom bought 12 more pairs of pants for me to wear. Since I was kind of small, I still fit in the toddler size 3 pants, which was especially embarrassing as I was a teenager not a toddler. Mom made sure to include calling me a toddler in her commentary about the purchases.

The next stop was in front of a display of baby bibs. I couldn't believe that mom was actually going to buy one for me when she told me to pick out two that I liked. It was at this point that another lady with a small toddler and pre-schooler walked by looking at the same items. I wanted to die when her pre-schooler asked her if I wet my pants like he does sometimes since I was wearing diapers. Mom again told me to pick the bibs that I liked. I was crying so hard that mom selected two bibs and immediately began snapping one around my neck. When I pulled at it, I was again reminded of the blistering I would get if I didn't behave myself.

The last stop in Ames was to pick up some baby bottles and nipples for "her baby". Mom bought 8 bottles and some nipples made for "older babies". I somehow doubt that anyone had considered when the bottle nipples were manufactured that someone my age would be using them. I had cried myself out and was now just about numb as we went to the cashier.

Several people made comments to mom about how cute I was even though they were sorry I was disabled. Mom thanked them for their kindness and I was kind of glad that they didn't know that I was a normal 13 year old that still had a wetting problem. Once we paid for the things, I held the bags over me to hide the fact that all I had on was diapers as we took them to the car.

After putting the bags in the car, mom began wheeling me toward the super market, when I questioned her as to why. She said that she didn't have any food suitable for such a little one as myself and that she needed to buy some. I sat fairly quiet as she pushed me up to the infant food isle and told me to select any stage 3 food that I wanted. With some reluctance after mom selected prunes, I picked out a bunch of things that looked to be the lesser of evils. Once again the purchases were paid for and the car loaded.

Once we finished at the super market, mom said that since I had been such a good boy, she would treat me to McDonald's. Normally I would have jumped at the chance to eat there, but in my state of dress, I said I would rather just go home. Mom said that she was hungry and that we were going to eat there since she didn't feel like fixing me lunch when we got home. It was then that I remembered the baby food and decided McDonald's wasn't so bad even though I was wearing diapers.

The walk into the restaurant felt like it took forever, even though it was only a couple of car spaces. Once inside mom told me to sit in a booth while she got out food and returned. I was glad at least to not have to stand in line like I was. It was also after the lunch rush so Mickey D's wasn't that busy thank goodness. Mom returned shortly with my happy meal and put it in front of me. It had been a while since I had eaten a happy meal preferring Big Macs instead but was now happy to be eating this rather than the baby food.

As I opened the meal and began eating I almost died when mom took a baby bottle from her purse and began pouring my soda into it. I asked her if that was really necessary, and was told that it was. By this time I had resigned myself to my fate and was till pretty numb for all the experiences of the day along with the weekend. It was surprising to me that the only comments made about what I felt was a spectacle, was by some little kids who looked like pre-schoolers asking how come I was using a baby bottle. They didn't even seem to question the fact that I was wearing diapers, only that I was using a baby bottle. Soccer Practice

First Saturday after we were home I had soccer practice. I was thinking that I was going to get let out of the diapers to attend practice so I asked dad about when I should get ready. He told me to go ahead and get dressed and that he would come in my room in a few minutes and help me finish getting ready. I thought this meant, taking my diapers and rubber pants off.

I put my soccer jersey on, then got out my shorts. I didn't want to put them on over the diapers I was wearing fearing that dad wouldn't take them off before we left if I had already dressed. After just finished putting my shoes and socks on, dad walked into my room. When he saw that I was all dressed except for my shorts he said OK, u look ready to go. Immediately I started crying fearing that he meant for me to put my shorts on over the diapers. When I asked him to take the diapers off of me, he reminded me that I knew the rules. That the diapers would only come off once I had been dry for a whole week. Since I had woken up soaking wet, today was not going to be my first day without diapers.

Dad then laid the bombshell on me saying that he had told me to get dressed. Since I was all dressed except for my shorts, that is what I must want to wear to practice and we were going to leave. At this statement I really started crying and begging dad saying that he couldn't be serious making me go to soccer practice wearing only diapers and rubber pants, after all I was 13 years old. When he said that he was very serious because I had gotten myself ready and knew that I wouldn't be taken out of diapers, I said I wasn't going to go. Dad told me that for the past two days since I had been bugging him about soccer practice (I was really hoping it meant getting out of diapers), that I was going. He said that maybe when my friends see what a baby I am, I will stop wetting myself.

Dad had to drag me from the house out to the car. There was no way that I wanted anyone to see me wearing only diapers. When we got to the soccer field, I said I was staying in the car. Dad said that he didn't bring me all the way to practice not for me to attend. He said that besides the kids and coaches on my team had seen me in wet pants enough to know about my wetting.

When I saw a lot of my friends and classmates already on the field, there was no way I was going to get out of the car on my own. Dad came around to my side of the car opening the door, and literally lifting me out and standing me up. As soon as I was out of the car, he locked and closed the door. At that point I realized it was useless since a lot of the kids had already looked to see me because of the fuss I was making as dad took me out. I walked down to the field where everyone was laughing their heads off. A few of my close friends came up and asked how come I was wearing diapers like a baby again. After they asked several times, my dad said that I better tell them or he would for me. I must have turned beet red explaining about my bedwetting and the new punishment.

Although the coaches were willing to let me play dressed in diapers, none of my team mates would. For that whole practice I ended up sitting on the sidelines getting taunted about being such a baby. Many of the kids, even my close friends kept asking if I needed to have my diapers changed. From all the teasing, by the time we left I was soaking wet again. Doctor Visit

As soon as dad had decided I would be treated like a baby until I stopped wetting, mom unknown to me had called and scheduled an appointment with a specialist to see if there was something medical that could be done. A week after I had initially been put back into diapers, mom woke me up and changed my very wet night diapers as was now usual. She said that I needed to get some shoes and socks on after putting a T-shirt on me. This surprised me since for the past week since soccer practice I had stayed in the house. When I asked her why, she said that we had an appointment with a doctor to see if he could help me to stay dry. Although I was excited at the possibility of getting out of diapers, I was also very anxious about what would happen and the fact that mom didn't give me any pants to put on.

A. Waiting Room

1. Seeing other kids

a. Seeing them obviously in diapers

b. Having the mother of a boy younger than me

telling him that he would soon be back in

diapers like I was.

2. Other kids asking me about my diapers

B. The examination

1. Painful tests

2. Being re-diapered School & Life wearing diapers

C. The daily ritual

D. Kids in the neighborhood

E. Beginning the diaper service

1. The truck at our house as the bus let us off from

school

F. Starting school again wearing diapers The Fad

During my junior year of high school a lot of kids were going to raves. Sometime after a movie, Boyz in the Hood came out, a lot of kids got into using baby pacifiers. Some of this had to do with one of the main characters in this movie always having one in his mouth. Some was a result of the lead singer for guns and roses showing up on stage wearing nothing but a diaper. Before long about 30 kids at my high school were walking around with a pacifier or baby bottle in their mouths.

At first it really freaked the teachers out seeing kids with baby bottles and pacifiers. School administrators at first tried to embarrass kids with them suggesting they were acting babyish. After a while no big deal was made of it except that you were not allowed to use a bottle during any class. For some reason pacifiers were OK.

When a couple of my friends started using a pacifier it really freaked me out. It brought back a lot of memories from when I was 13 and was treated like a baby as punishment. My best friends parents thought it was a lot better than smoking or using drugs and actually went out and bought a baby bottle for him after he picked it out. He began bringing it almost everywhere with us and eventually convince me I should try it. The first time I put his bottle in my mouth, I knew I wanted one again. That afternoon during lunch break at school we went to the local drug store and I bought one shaped like a Pepsi bottle. It felt really strange being cool to be drinking a baby bottle in front of my friends when only a few years before I got really dissed about being a baby still. Because of the previous experience I had with my dad, I kept my bottle hidden when at home.

By the middle of my senior year of high school, there were only a handful of kids using bottles or pacifiers left. By Christmas time I had pretty much stopped using the bottle as had my friend. The bottle stayed in its hiding place in the rear of my closet and was soon forgotten. Dad finding a baby bottle

Shortly before my graduation from high school, dad was scheduled to leave for a business trip and decided to borrow my one gym bag that I only used for traveling now. Unfortunately for me that was where in the back of my closet I had hidden my baby bottle and pacifier from the year before. I didn't know that he had found them, since I was at school when he packed and left for the two day meeting. When I got home from school that day, mom kept giving me really strange looks and several times asked about whether I felt like a baby cause of wearing diapers all the time. Since I didn't realized the importance of the question at the time, I honestly answered that I did but that it wasn't so bad now as they were really comfortable.

I was later to find out that my parents had discussed my saying that I sometimes liked feeling like a baby and had even consulted a therapist during dad's trip. Apparently he had told them that I must have some desire to return to infancy and that I should temporarily be allowed to do so if I choose. His conclusion was that this was harmless and that in a short time I would begin to realized the advantages of being an adult and would willingly give up the bottles and baby things.

Dad returned home that Friday night from his business trip. After dinner I was told that my parents wanted to have a long talk with me. As I went into the den I noticed that dad had my baby bottle and pacifier that I thought were still hidden in my closet sitting on his desk. I knew I was going to get chewed out and sat down nervously waiting for my folks to arrive. When dad came into the room, he sat down at his desk and immediately picked up the baby bottle. He demanded to know why at 17 years of age, I had a baby bottle and pacifier hidden in my closet. When I tried to explain about the fad, mom then reminded me of the answer that I had given her recently "that thinking of myself as a baby was sometimes nice". As they talked I could feel myself becoming redder and redder, since my folks now knew about my infantile desires.

Dad then told me of the psychologists recommendation saying that my parents had agreed with it. Dad said that the psychologist had recommended allowing me to act out the desire to be babied, saying that it would either pass, or would continue and be difficult if not impossible to remove. After a lot of discussion, I agreed to go along with the suggestion which included several visits to the therapist as a part of it. Dad said that since school was still in session, I would be allowed to dress for school, but at home, I would be dressed and treated as a complete infant. Dad went on to say that since the bottles were a fad in school, then I shouldn't mind taking mine with me every day then. I felt like I wanted to die, but asked exactly what he meant when he said I would be treated as a complete infant.

As dad was telling me my fate, mom got up and removed all my pants and shorts from my closet and brought them into the den locking them in a steamer trunk. Dad said that I should take my pants off since I was now considered a baby and that I would be given a pair every day for school. Otherwise at home I didn't need to wear anything other than diapers since that's what babies wear. He went on to tell me as I was handing the shorts that I had on to mom, that we would be going shopping for more bottles and baby things that I would now need. When I asked mom for the shorts back, she stated I didn't need them since I was now a baby.

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